Well, more events have taken place so time for an update. I can’t
remember what I’ve already said, so f I repeat anything I apologise. After
being nauseas and actually sick a lot for a number of days/a week I was given
some medication (prochlorperazine) which has really helped take the edge of the
sickness. It’s so nice not to be throwing up. I’m still feeling drained a lot
of the time and a bit nauseas, but it’s nice not to be really bad like I was.
The medication is helping so I’m happy with this.
When I went to see the doctors
and got given the medication they decided to give me blood tests. I don’t know
if it’s normal but I felt very tired, dizzy and lightheaded for about 36 hours
after having the blood take, which made me once again think that perhaps there
is something to do with my blood. I’m starting to wonder whether I have enough,
or the transportation of nutrients is lacking. That’s just Steven speculation
and no help to anyone, but I will keep trying to analyse all the things and
maybe hit the mark. I’m hoping with the doctors help something might come back
to indicate what’s going on.
During the time of waiting for
the bloods I had to try and sort out the money/ESA related things and wait for
the doctor to contact me so I could get more information to send away. I was
told the message had been passed on to my doctor and I was seeing my doctor in
a couple of days so decided to speak to them about it then.
I went to my appointment and
first of all asked the doctor about the bloods. They said everything was fine,
which was disappointing as I hoped something might have shown as I have felt
for a number of months that it could be something to do with my blood (We’ll
come back to this topic in a minute). We then had a discussion about where to
take things now and there was a little argument about whether it is time to
embrace the mental health side of things or to do more tests. The doctor said I
had done every test and there’s nothing more to do. I replied that I haven’t had
a camera in my stomach yet to actually see if there is damage in my stomach
that’s effecting my health, as the stomach is one of the key problems. The
doctor was then adamant I had already had that test. After a little discussion
they realised they either miss read my notes from previous doctors, or my notes
were wrong. To think I’ve had such a test when I hadn’t is a pretty bad error,
but I’m glad it was cleared up, but only happened because I stuck to my guns. So
good and bad news is I’m going to have an endoscopy.
This is great as it will
clarify once and for all if the stomach is damaged someway that I believe it to
be. And if there is nothing wrong in there then I can move forward and embrace
the mental health avenue. It’s also bad as having the endoscopy is going to be
brutal as being conscious while having a camera put down your throat can’t be
pleasant for anyone. I’ll be sedated, but it’s going to be difficult to stay
calm and not let any anxiety stuff take over. I’m sure it will be okay though
as long as I apply all the strategies to distract myself.
After coming to the agreement
that going ahead with the endoscopy, we discussed the ESA stuff and the doctor wrote
me out another note that they have to follow. Hopefully the ESA will be in
touch and I’ll have a little bit of money coming in to cover the debts I’m racking
up. Speaking of debt, I’ve also been to citizens advice bureau and they’ve
referred me to the money advice section and some of my debts might be able to
be reduced as they will write to the bank on my behalf so I pay less on my
debts. This will mess up my credit rating but I really have no choice right now
so I’m happy to do it. I have that meeting next week.
After the doctors I went home
and found a letter which made me laugh a lot. It was about my blood tests
results. The doctor had said nothing was wrong, yet, the letter said I had to
go back in four weeks for another full blood count. There was no explanation of
why just that it needs to be done. I know the doctor is trying to help me and I
appreciate the time and effort that goes into what doctors do, but it’s
aggravating when so many easily avoidable mistakes are made. During the
discussion with the doctor they asked why I’ve dealt with this health stuff
myself for the last few years and not sort the help I should. I didn’t really
answer it then, but I guess this is way. I just felt I could balance it all
myself as no doctors have never truly listened or aren’t actually able to truly
help due to the volume of people they see. Obviously, I can’t deal with all
this anymore and that’s why I’m seeking and pushing for help, but when I feel
let down constantly. Again, I do appreciate the help I am receiving and these
are wonderful people trying to help so please don’t think I’m complaining I’m
just making observations about my own personal experiences. If others are going
through similar things just keep fighting your corner in a positive and
constructive way, it’s hard at times but for the best in the long run. Don’t
let things get worse and worse over the years and put yourself through a lot of
pain.
I’ve also had another visit with the mental health therapist and our
time was shorter than last time, but we made some progress. I’m more willing to
take into account the concept/idea that if there isn’t anything too physically
wrong with me it could be that all my emotional stress is almost sabotaging my
body. I’m not ready to accept it just yet, but talking about it makes it easier
to consider and I’ll only go down this avenue if the bloods and endoscopy don’t
show anything.
In other news I’m looking for new accommodation. I won’t go into
details, but I have to move out of my current place. I’m looking for somewhere
near to my brother and hopefully can find something in my price range. I should
be stressed about such things but my life has been so chaotic over the last I’ve
years I’m almost unphased by such things- it will work out one way or another.
I know I’ve said I shouldn’t post what the next post should be, as it
always changes, but next post should be the part two about emotions.
Fun: These are terrible, ‘Doctor, Doctor,’ jokes but still put a smile
on my face.
Education: I can’t think of anything that educational so going to leave
it this week.
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