This is the part-two from the
previous post. In that post I discussed a few thoughts on how I’ve tried to
balance the impact my health struggles have had on me, and on various aspects
of my life. This follow-up discussion will be some examples of how I’ve had to
change/adapt my life so that I still get to be who I want to be and have the
happiness I want. The overall theme is that despite challenges we can find ways
to define how they affect us our lives. I said it the first ever blog post, but
I’ll say it again, these are just what I’ve found helps me, everyone is
different. We as individuals have to find what works for us, but the below are
just some examples.
I guess I’ll begin with a
background of some of the things I enjoyed as a child/teen/young adult, how the
health struggles changed things, and then after that discuss the things I did
to adapt and still bring happiness.
From a very early age I love sports. I played football pretty much every
day as an older child and I also did a lot of cross-country running for a few
years. In my early teens I favoured going running more than the football, but
still played with a group of the guys at my second high school at lunch time.
At my third high school I played football every so often but as Physical
Education was my favourite subject I enjoyed using the fitness room, swimming,
running, volleyball, badminton and some basketball. I did so much sport that I
was pretty much known for it in my year. I then went off to university and
didn’t do so much as I started having joint pains. The summer after my first
year I worked in America at a summer-camp and had a couple of health issues,
one of which was my eyes hurting a lot (I’ll come back to this) and when I got
back I started to have a lot of knee pain when trying to exercise. I stopped
exercising and focused on my studies and working as a care-worker.
I missed doing sports, but after trying physio and other things that
didn’t help I gave up trying. Towards the end of 2009 my health got really bad
as this is when the IBS and Panic attacks began and I became very ill; as I’ve
mentioned before I did manage to balance it to the point I was relatively well.
I then had to work hard at becoming stronger. Also at this time I was refereed
me to the orthopaedic specialist and discovered my knee joint pain could be
fixed my insoles in my shoes. I then began to ever so slightly run once a week
and do physio on my upper body, using resistance bands to start with. In time,
and with such slow increase in intensity, I became healthy and stronger. I went
back to work and for a few years I worked and continued to run and work out. It
was so good to be doing it again, but in time it became too much for my IBS and
fatigue. I had to slow things down and stopped running but stuck to a work-out
every two weeks.
I’m still getting to work-out
every so often but I can feel it becoming more and more demanding on my
struggles. I’m going to try and maintain strength, but we’ll see what happens
and if I have to accept doing even less.
As I mentioned before I have had eye troubles over the years and this
has been diagnosed and Chronic Dry eyes (No eye drops etc have helped and
actually makes it worse). This has been a hard struggle as other things I’ve
loved since a teen includes reading, playing computer games and watching films.
I’ve had to limit these over the years and almost never play computer games
anymore.
Another health change includes fatigue almost all the time, and even
staying up late is a struggle and this year was the first year in two that I’ve
been up for midnight on new year. I used to love going out to clubs, being with
friends and dancing, but it’s almost too exhausting now and haven’t been out in
a long time. And even when I did do it in the past five years I used to have to
make sure I had a day or two after to rest and recover just from one night out.
I know the above might seem like a moan about what I can’t do, but it’s
not. I think it’s important to note that I believe we often put a negative or
positive on things when actually there isn’t one. To me the brief account on
what I used to do is just data and information about what has happened; it’s us
who puts our interpretation on it. Sure in the past the above may have been a
negative to me, but I’ve learned to see it as just experience that I can use
for a positive. This leads nicely on to what things I’ve done to adapt and how
the things above have actually opened up a lot of new and fun things for me to
develop and experience.
Because of the above struggles I’ve often
had to find other things to do as hobbies that bring me enjoyment. I’ve both
tried to continue hobbies that make me happy, and I’ve had to try completely new
ones, as some, like I’ve said, I just can’t do anymore, i.e. running and exercising
the same way.
When the dramatic change of panic-attacks etc occurred I had to find
something to fill my time that wasn’t demanding on my health. I had always
loved doodling so did a lot more of this, and as well as this I took up a new
hobby that has been quite a journey for me. The doodling wasn’t enough to help
pass the time when resting, and I tried to think of things to help pass the
time. I’ve always enjoyed stories and reading, and to cut a long story short I
thought it would be cool to write stories, but had no experience in this and no
idea where to start. Fortunately, a few weeks after this an idea for a story
came into my mind, and, well, over the past five years I’ve written a number of
stories and it has been fun to learn a new skill and be creative. Because of
this experience I’ve learned how important it is to have something that allows
creativity and self expression.
Another change I’ve made is to how much I read. As a result of my dry
eyes I cannot read books as frequently as I would like and even when I do read
it often hurts. I had to find another option so began listening to audiobooks. I
have also taken a greater interest in board games such as Risk and Scrabble as
these can be competitive and enjoyable the way sports were for me, and not
demanding physically.
Yet, another lesson I’ve personally learned
from my experiences is the value of patience and the importance of the fable of
the tortoise and the hare. In my life I’ve often tried new things, but then if
it didn’t work out I would just give up and try something else and continue
this pattern. Now I’m better at balancing this and I keep trying and don’t just
stop when it doesn’t seem to work, as so often things don’t work out the first
time or after multiple tries- ‘I did not fail. I have found ten thousand ways
that won’t work,’ Thomas Edison’s disputed quote. I strongly feel that a good
balance of finding new things and persevering with what you already enjoy is
important. When finding new things to do that bring happiness it requires a lot
of creativity and imagination. On the reverse side of this is the harsh reality
that some things just can’t me done anymore, and an acceptance of this, and the
ability to let them go, is important if we are to be happy.
As I
mentioned in the previous post, the overall lesson I take is that I think in
some way health struggles will always define us, but it’s our choice in how we
let them. If the struggles affect us negatively it’s often our choice and
usually occurs because we dwell on what we can’t do anymore. Overcoming this is
easier said than done and a very painful and exhausting process. It took years
for me to let go of some of what I used to do and it still hurts occasionally. But
in time, and with great perseverance, the positive outcomes can be achieved,
and we can learn new things that bring happiness, and find ways to give the
struggles value and worth to ourselves and others. And then again, we don’t
have to give it those values. It’s totally up to us as individuals to choose
whatever we want, and see what works best for our own unique take on this experience we call life.
Education: A short document about
sport and the transition out of it. Though short and relating specifically to sport there are gems of knowledge if applied to other aspects of life and to
any type of transition or challenging change in circumstance.
Fun: They say laughter is the best medicine and if
so this would cure everything. I think Elmo is amazing. Enjoy!!
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