Wednesday 14 January 2015

Do The Struggles Define You? Or Do You Define The Struggles? Part 2

This is the part-two from the previous post. In that post I discussed a few thoughts on how I’ve tried to balance the impact my health struggles have had on me, and on various aspects of my life. This follow-up discussion will be some examples of how I’ve had to change/adapt my life so that I still get to be who I want to be and have the happiness I want. The overall theme is that despite challenges we can find ways to define how they affect us our lives. I said it the first ever blog post, but I’ll say it again, these are just what I’ve found helps me, everyone is different. We as individuals have to find what works for us, but the below are just some examples.

I guess I’ll begin with a background of some of the things I enjoyed as a child/teen/young adult, how the health struggles changed things, and then after that discuss the things I did to adapt and still bring happiness.
   From a very early age I love sports. I played football pretty much every day as an older child and I also did a lot of cross-country running for a few years. In my early teens I favoured going running more than the football, but still played with a group of the guys at my second high school at lunch time. At my third high school I played football every so often but as Physical Education was my favourite subject I enjoyed using the fitness room, swimming, running, volleyball, badminton and some basketball. I did so much sport that I was pretty much known for it in my year. I then went off to university and didn’t do so much as I started having joint pains. The summer after my first year I worked in America at a summer-camp and had a couple of health issues, one of which was my eyes hurting a lot (I’ll come back to this) and when I got back I started to have a lot of knee pain when trying to exercise. I stopped exercising and focused on my studies and working as a care-worker.
   I missed doing sports, but after trying physio and other things that didn’t help I gave up trying. Towards the end of 2009 my health got really bad as this is when the IBS and Panic attacks began and I became very ill; as I’ve mentioned before I did manage to balance it to the point I was relatively well. I then had to work hard at becoming stronger. Also at this time I was refereed me to the orthopaedic specialist and discovered my knee joint pain could be fixed my insoles in my shoes. I then began to ever so slightly run once a week and do physio on my upper body, using resistance bands to start with. In time, and with such slow increase in intensity, I became healthy and stronger. I went back to work and for a few years I worked and continued to run and work out. It was so good to be doing it again, but in time it became too much for my IBS and fatigue. I had to slow things down and stopped running but stuck to a work-out every two weeks.
   I’m still getting to work-out every so often but I can feel it becoming more and more demanding on my struggles. I’m going to try and maintain strength, but we’ll see what happens and if I have to accept doing even less.
   As I mentioned before I have had eye troubles over the years and this has been diagnosed and Chronic Dry eyes (No eye drops etc have helped and actually makes it worse). This has been a hard struggle as other things I’ve loved since a teen includes reading, playing computer games and watching films. I’ve had to limit these over the years and almost never play computer games anymore.  
   Another health change includes fatigue almost all the time, and even staying up late is a struggle and this year was the first year in two that I’ve been up for midnight on new year. I used to love going out to clubs, being with friends and dancing, but it’s almost too exhausting now and haven’t been out in a long time. And even when I did do it in the past five years I used to have to make sure I had a day or two after to rest and recover just from one night out.

I know the above might seem like a moan about what I can’t do, but it’s not. I think it’s important to note that I believe we often put a negative or positive on things when actually there isn’t one. To me the brief account on what I used to do is just data and information about what has happened; it’s us who puts our interpretation on it. Sure in the past the above may have been a negative to me, but I’ve learned to see it as just experience that I can use for a positive. This leads nicely on to what things I’ve done to adapt and how the things above have actually opened up a lot of new and fun things for me to develop and experience.

Because of the above struggles I’ve often had to find other things to do as hobbies that bring me enjoyment. I’ve both tried to continue hobbies that make me happy, and I’ve had to try completely new ones, as some, like I’ve said, I just can’t do anymore, i.e. running and exercising the same way.
   When the dramatic change of panic-attacks etc occurred I had to find something to fill my time that wasn’t demanding on my health. I had always loved doodling so did a lot more of this, and as well as this I took up a new hobby that has been quite a journey for me. The doodling wasn’t enough to help pass the time when resting, and I tried to think of things to help pass the time. I’ve always enjoyed stories and reading, and to cut a long story short I thought it would be cool to write stories, but had no experience in this and no idea where to start. Fortunately, a few weeks after this an idea for a story came into my mind, and, well, over the past five years I’ve written a number of stories and it has been fun to learn a new skill and be creative. Because of this experience I’ve learned how important it is to have something that allows creativity and self expression.
   Another change I’ve made is to how much I read. As a result of my dry eyes I cannot read books as frequently as I would like and even when I do read it often hurts. I had to find another option so began listening to audiobooks. I have also taken a greater interest in board games such as Risk and Scrabble as these can be competitive and enjoyable the way sports were for me, and not demanding physically. 
   Yet, another lesson I’ve personally learned from my experiences is the value of patience and the importance of the fable of the tortoise and the hare. In my life I’ve often tried new things, but then if it didn’t work out I would just give up and try something else and continue this pattern. Now I’m better at balancing this and I keep trying and don’t just stop when it doesn’t seem to work, as so often things don’t work out the first time or after multiple tries- ‘I did not fail. I have found ten thousand ways that won’t work,’ Thomas Edison’s disputed quote. I strongly feel that a good balance of finding new things and persevering with what you already enjoy is important. When finding new things to do that bring happiness it requires a lot of creativity and imagination. On the reverse side of this is the harsh reality that some things just can’t me done anymore, and an acceptance of this, and the ability to let them go, is important if we are to be happy.

As I mentioned in the previous post, the overall lesson I take is that I think in some way health struggles will always define us, but it’s our choice in how we let them. If the struggles affect us negatively it’s often our choice and usually occurs because we dwell on what we can’t do anymore. Overcoming this is easier said than done and a very painful and exhausting process. It took years for me to let go of some of what I used to do and it still hurts occasionally. But in time, and with great perseverance, the positive outcomes can be achieved, and we can learn new things that bring happiness, and find ways to give the struggles value and worth to ourselves and others. And then again, we don’t have to give it those values. It’s totally up to us as individuals to choose whatever we want, and see what works best for our own unique take on this experience we call life.  

 
Education: A short document about sport and the transition out of it. Though short and relating specifically to sport there are gems of knowledge if applied to other aspects of life and to any type of transition or challenging change in circumstance.


Fun: They say laughter is the best medicine and if so this would cure everything. I think Elmo is amazing. Enjoy!!

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