As mentioned in the introduction
of this blog, I strongly believe understanding and empathy are some of the keys
to dealing with mental and physical health struggles. But before I go any
further I want to briefly clarify what I mean by understanding and empathy. To
me they are both strongly linked to what I discussed in the previous post about
putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, and asking yourself how you would
feel if you had various limitations of health struggles. If a person has even a
little bit of understanding and empathy then it will help them treat somebody else with kindness and respect. If a person can’t do this then they tend to judge them
harshly and criticise before trying to find the reasons for any set behaviour. I
know that’s a small look into what understanding and empathy is, but I think it's sufficient
for setting up this discussion.
Another brief point to hit on, is to think about why it’s important to
have understanding and empathy. Personally, I think it comes back to happiness
and positivity, as this is the only way people will be strengthened and
supported during the dark times. As mentioned in other posts it also allows for
people not to feel so alone. It also gives them a feeling of being valued, and we
all deserve to be valued, especially as, to me, no one person is more important than another.
Yes, we have family and friends who take priority over other people, but from a
broader perspective I do believe every life has equal value and worth (this
will be discussed more shortly).
Okay, now it’s time to get on with the
main discussion. This will be in two parts. The first will be from the angle of
looking at everyone and how each of us, no matter who we are, should treat
those who have mental and physical health struggles. The second part will be from
the perspective of those who struggle with mental and physical health
difficulties.
So, first of all I’m going to take a look at empathy and understanding from the
perspective of everyone. A good opening question in this part of the discussion
is,
What is most important in life?
There will be a large variety of answers, but for me the answer is, people. I very rarely make statements that are absolute I.E. this way is the
right way of doing something etc etc, as there are so many bad, good, or better ways
of doing things in life, but this is one of a very few things where my flexibility
stops. I will always say, 'people are the most important thing in my life
and should be in the lives of others.'
I imagine that when I am on my death bed it’s those relationships I had with people that I will hold most dear when I
breathe my last breath. It’s cliché but how big my house was, how fast my car
could go and what clothes I wore will have no worth in comparison. That’s just my
opinion, but perhaps something all of us should reflect upon more often. However, it will always be your choice to decide where you place your
energies, or how you value things. After all, what I have said is just my perspective and NEVER adopt anyone else's perspective unless you want to.
My perspective is that the value of a
life is so great that it cannot be measured, and is why each person is important and worthy of
love, kindness and understanding. With this said, it baffles me how often the lives of others can be so undervalued by
society. I know that’s a generalisation, as many people do care so so much for
others, but as a whole I think we fall short- just look at the injustices in our law system with so many criminals having such short sentences after committing such atrocities as rape and murder.
Going back to the specifics of health struggles, but there is still a relationship to other topics, I think this neglect/indifference
towards the importance of an individual life comes from a lack of understanding
and empathy. My comment on this isn't meant to be a criticism really, just an
observation that as a whole we has humans seem to struggle to relate to one
another at times.
I think one of the reason for this is because we have to provide for
ourselves and work so so hard just to live and because of this we don’t get a
chance to consciously try and think about how others feel. It’s just something
that doesn’t seem to cross our minds most of the time. But when you do sit down
and think about it, you realise that the most effective way to be would be if
we could understand why we all behave the way we do, and not judge so quickly
certain appearances, or behaviours, without first trying to look at the bigger
picture. I strongly believe relationships with families, friends, work colleagues and strangers
would dramatically improve if we did this. (There is more discussion on all of this in the
lecture I’ve chosen for the ‘Education’ link at the bottom of this post).
As
mentioned above this is a very generalised picture and short discussion on the
subject, but I hope you see the root of what is being said. On a specific level
I feel mental and physical health is one of the most misunderstood struggles within our
society. Awareness is increasing, and great efforts are being made, but there is
still a lot of work to do to make sure the majority of people, if not all people, understand the complexity and specific nature of mental and physical health and
how it affects individuals.
So how is it we improve this and increase awareness? Well, I guess this
opens up part-two of the discussion and it's time to look at empathy and understanding from
the perspective of those, like myself, who have these struggles to some degree
or another.
I honestly believe simply talking about it is one very significant
way to improve awareness. This is easier said than done as I know it can be
very difficult to open up about such struggles. I have often kept my struggles hidden as
best I can so I don’t get judged as weird, or weak, or ostracised for being
negatively different. All of which are not true, but it doesn’t make the fear,
and sometimes the reality, of being judged this way any less real. On many occasions I’ve felt I've had to hide my struggles as best I can to avoid being laughed at, or looked down on. It has only been through realising I’m not alone, and that
there are people who understand, and people who may not understand, but do care,
that I’ve been able to pluck up the courage to speak up about my mental and
physical health challenges.
This is why I would encourage those who feel strong enough, and
comfortable doing so, to speak more about their struggles. The experiences,
wisdom, empathy, compassion and understanding you can share because of these difficulties
can actually save lives, and in time it will improve peoples understanding. There are so many people out there who feel lost, or
who are perhaps just at the beginning of a very difficult journey, and to know
of someone who is fighting and dealing with similar experiences, and who truly
cares, is invaluable. But, once again, this is all your choice. Please only open
up if/when you feel comfortable doing so, as you are just as important, so do not
risk your own health, because if your health gets worse you will not be able to
help anyone.
Ultimately, with more awareness, sympathy and understanding from
everyone, there is greater chance to give hope to those who may be losing it.
Surely there is nothing more important than giving hope and helping others?
And as previously mention in the discussion
about hope, it is key to say there is always hope! No matter how hard it gets,
the truth is there is a way to live a good life with happiness, we just have to
find it. It takes a lot of effort, and patience, and support, but I have no doubt
it is possible. Showing people there is always hope will be made easier by each of us as individuals being
more aware, empathetic and understanding to those around us.
Education: A good look at why we don’t always be as understanding,
empathetic or compassionate as perhaps we should.
Fun: A friend put this on Facebook and with it being Christmas, and
seeing as I’m a huge fan of South Park, I thought I’d share.
P.S. I’ll be taking a break for Christmas and New Year. The next post will look at trying to balance these struggles so they don't solely define us, or stop us from being who we want to be. This will be
from my own experiences.
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